Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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