He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The power of my boobs compel you
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
