so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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