I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
