I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
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He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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