I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
