people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
