Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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