I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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