I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
