I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
