a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize