mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
