just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
