alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
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splinters make it hard to masturbate
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
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Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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