You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
