Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
