I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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