My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
