She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
