I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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