Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
