The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
