we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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