Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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