omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
