i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
