hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
