At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
These tits shall not be calmed
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
