He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
