We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
