Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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