she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
How naked do you want me to be?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
