Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
