Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize