Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
