what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
