If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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