giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
