i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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