Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Mom said you looked used
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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