i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
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