I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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