HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
