I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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