smell my finger.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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