YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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