wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
