these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
