...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
True but thats because hes a fetus.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
