Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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