too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Semen is not good for contacts.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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