the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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