Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Randomize
