you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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