I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
