I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
