Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
