you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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