I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
