The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
