Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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