is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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