While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize