the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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