jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
