Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
It's like God shit irony all over that family
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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