i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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